How to Get Over McDreamy in 109 Steps

25fdc47d187b36722380497cb9ab3fbaBefore you can start the 109 step program, you must first do the following:

  1. Meet a man that has every capability of being your McDreamy.
  2. Sit back as he changes your world from dull and grey to bright and prismatic and sparkly.
  3. Survive the most sugary sweet, heart-bursting proposal known to man kind.
  4. Create lots of amazing memories at all of your favorite places. (Examples here and here)
  5. Claim not one, not two, but upwards of a hundred popular loves songs as “yours.”
  6. Plan your entire life with McDreamy by your side.

Now that you’ve accomplished all of the above, here’s how to cope when it all comes crashing down in a heap of rubble and flames.

  1. Hear the words you never thought you’d hear.
  2. Stand in disbelief.
  3. Realize that nothing you say is going to change his mind.
  4. Go to your parents’ house.
  5. Cry.
  6. Say goodbye to McDreamy.
  7. Hug him and not want to let go.
  8. Let go.
  9. Cry.
  10. Cry.
  11. Pray.
  12. Cry.
  13. Try to sleep.
  14. Create lots of text messages that never get sent.
  15. Hope that he will change his mind.
  16. Realize he’s not changing his mind, he’s not coming back.
  17. Tell yourself it’s ok, you don’t want him to come back anyway.
  18. Cry because maybe you do want him to come back.
  19. Repeat steps 15-17 approximately 54 times.
  20. Tell your friends.
  21. Soak up the comfort from your friends.
  22. Give in to your friends and go out for a night.
  23. Realize you can actually enjoy yourself.
  24. Go home and cry.
  25. Wake up reaching for him and fight the nausea that comes when you realize he’s not there.
  26. Cry.
  27. Pray.
  28. Pull yourself out of bed to shower/take care of the kids/work. Repeat daily.
  29. Eat ice cream.
  30. Realize ice cream is not the answer.
  31. Run 3-5 miles.
  32. Remember how much you enjoy running. Repeat regularly.
  33. Read your Bible. Repeat daily.
  34. Delete upwards of a hundred popular love songs from your iPod.
  35. Download breakup songs.
  36. Make breakup playlist.
  37. Listen to breakup playlist as loud as you can while driving in your car.
  38. Avoid some of your favorite places in fear of crying in public.
  39. Cry in public.
  40. Be stared at and maybe even hugged by complete strangers.
  41. Cry harder.
  42. Explain everything you miss about him to said complete stranger.
  43. Explain everything you don’t miss about him to same complete stranger.
  44. Realize complete stranger doesn’t care.
  45. Let complete stranger go and turn away to avoid the relief in their eyes.
  46. Watch a romantic comedy.
  47. Cry.
  48. Watch a soap opera.
  49. Cry.
  50. Watch an action movie.
  51. Cry.
  52. Watch an Adam Sandler movie.
  53. Cry.
  54. Watch a Barbie movie.
  55. Cry.
  56. Turn the TV off.
  57. Read the Bible.
  58. Pray.
  59. Try to understand what happened.
  60. Wonder what you could have done differently.
  61. Find sad quotes, inspirational quotes, rebellious quotes and pin said quotes on Pinterest.
  62. Look at his Facebook.
  63. Cry.
  64. Evaluate and re-evaluate everything that happened between the two of you.
  65. Remember the good times.
  66. Cry.
  67. Swear off all men.
  68. Text an ex-boyfriend.
  69. Realize that was a bad idea.
  70. Stop texting ex-boyfriend.
  71. Kill a spider – ALL BY YOURSELF.
  72. Put on the smile.
  73. Wonder what’s wrong with you.
  74. Go through the list of all things that are wrong with you.
  75. Look in the mirror and see all the things that are wrong with you.
  76. Cry.
  77. Pray.
  78. Realize you’re not so bad after all.
  79. Read the Bible.
  80. Feel God coming closer to you.
  81. Have a dream that you got back together.
  82. Wake up and realize it was just a dream.
  83. Cry.
  84. Listen to your friends tell you you’re better off.
  85. Get mad because you don’t think you’re better off.
  86. Apologize for getting mad after realizing they might (might) be right.
  87. Receive text from McDreamy.
  88. Read it and re-read it.
  89. Get mad.
  90. Vent all pent up sadness, frustration, and pain via return text.
  91. Instantly regret venting.
  92. Apologize.
  93. Re-read his texts from months and months before.
  94. Delete all of his texts and simultaneously feel relieved and regret.
  95. Unfriend him on Facebook.
  96. Unfriend his friends and family on Facebook out of fear they might post something about him that will make you cry even though you’ll miss them and their antics in your newsfeed.
  97. Cry.
  98. Go out and kick some serious guy butt at pool.
  99. Consider giving in to that cute guy and handing over your number.
  100. Turn him down with a smile.
  101. Apply for Grad School.
  102. Realize you went an entire day without thinking about McDreamy.
  103. Realize he’s no longer McDreamy in your mind.
  104. Smile, genuinely.
  105. Laugh.
  106. Flirt.
  107. Hear one of your songs and realize you’re not crying.
  108. Pray for him.
  109. Realize you’re pretty awesome after all.

And in 6-8 weeks you’ll be magically cured of any heartache that may have plagued you. Okay, so maybe it takes more than that but just remember, it gets better. Even when it hurts so bad you feel like your chest might explode. Even when you can’t bear to wake up another day in the world with such sadness in your heart. It gets better. Practice self care, read Lucille Zimmerman’s Book, take a bubble bath, go out, run, and realize you’re awesome. We can always be better but it’s not all your fault. God is in the details, trust Him.

~ Thankfully Exhausted

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9 thoughts on “How to Get Over McDreamy in 109 Steps

  1. Pingback: All Access Accountability | Thankfully Exhausted

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